I accept that it is an internal struggle between who you are and who you want to be. I feel like I have dealt really well with the change I have been through this year and I haven't flipped out in ages. Some things make you remember how easily you can slip back into that void, and although I have been over it for so long there's still that heightened awareness that you could be standing perilously close to the edge and not even know it.
I think everybody has this one period in their life between teenage and adulthood where you freak out and realise that you have absolutely no idea what is supposed to happen next. Mine came in 2007.
I think once you get over it you've grown and whether you like it or not, you know yourself better than you ever could when you were blissfully oblivious - you know that you are both internally resilient and crushingly fragile at the same time, and you know that there's nothing wrong with that.
It means you're human.